Zero's Not My Hero

Zero 's not my hero

I'm not a fan of zero orders. Sure there are  some special times when they're appropriate. Maybe the parents make about the same amount of money and really do share their child's time equally. Maybe an otherwise-paying parent provides something so amazingly valuable to the child's household that it more than makes up for the payment of support.

But for the vast majority of cases with a zero order ... well, I wish we didn't.

To begin with, it's bad for the child. Money matters, of course, in the things it can provide, beginning with necessities and, when those are met, certain second-level supports like sporting activities or music lessons or clothes that peers won't make fun of as much. (OK that's probably impossible. They'll make fun of anything. But you get the idea.) Maybe even more than that though, sooner or later this little person is going to realize that all the financial support came from one parent. Sooner or later he or she will figure it out, and it will matter to their own self-perception, their view of their personal value, seen through a filter of the value their parent places on them.

Getting support from the paying parent also tends to make the relationship between the parents more amicable. Not only does peace between parents bring peace to the child but it also paves the way for a more inclusive, co-parenting -- dare I say, partnering -- experience.

The third reason, though, and the one I think gets overlooked, is that it's good for the paying parent, too. I know that's getting awfully paternalistic and shouldn't be the guiding light of the child support community, but it remains worth mentioning. There is a psychological well-being that comes from making a contribution to your child's well-being. Even if a person lives in poverty, even if they are in prison, and even if they are overwhelmed with life-issues we can barely fathom, finding a way to make a financial contribution, even a minimal one, can be affirming.

A poor parent who lives with a child tends to make sacrifices in order to support the child. They find ways to keep the heat on and get food on the table. And though they may go to bed wondering how they'll do the same tomorrow, they also feel a satisfaction from making it through the day.

Studies about the benefits employment provides to mental health perhaps provide an example to the child support world as well. It's good for our psyches to work. Work provides meaning, identity, and order.  I suggest that the same is true for caring for our children. We receive benefits from ensuring that our children are safe and fed and warm and happy. Similarly, helping others increases the production of dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin in our bodies. We are hard-wired to feel good when we help people. I suspect that includes helping our children.

I know from a business point of view it may look like it's more cost-efficient to set a zero order. Trying to collect very small order amounts from poor people and people who are incarcerated isn't going to kick incentives into high gear. I guess it's a good thing that states continue to discuss the next generation of incentive measures with our federal partners. Still, I think it's worth it. I know none of us do this work just for the incentives -- we work in child support because it's right and good -- well, and maybe for the dopamine.

Despite what it might do to the bottom line, let's do reconsider our race to zero and find a balance that is good for kids and families on a variety of levels.